Question: What are Aphrodisiacs?

Answer: An aphrodisiac is anything that causes sexual arousal or intensifies sexual desire in either males or females.  Aphrodisiacs may be classified in two principal groups:  (1) psycho physiological (taste, visual, tactile, olfactory, aural) and (2) internal (stemming from food, alcoholic drinks, drugs, love potions, medical prescriptions).

Aphrodisiacs will cause us to feel sexually desirable and romantically excited.

Something such as certain drugs or foods can have such an effect.  In accient history, aphrodisiacs were first sought out as a remedy for various sexual anxieties including fears of inadequate performance as well as the need to increase fertility.  Procreation was an important moral and religious issue and aphrodisiacs were sought to insure both male and female potency.

Two of the most common aphrodisiacs today are chocolate and Viagra, others or oysters, and even animal genitalia.   Another common aphrodisiac for men is the smell of apple pie.

There are a multitude of other natural aphrodisiacs, however, don’t forget the one between your ears. If you stimulate you and your partner’s mind with thoughts and imagination, you’ll beg for more. Sensual, as well as intellectual stimulation can be very arousing and can assist to insure for a lasting relationship.

Question:

My husband and I have been married for three years and he is no longer interested in making love to me. I have tried everything he just will not talk to me, but I don’t believe he is cheating on me. What could be the problem?

Answer:

There are a lot of men out there that would love to have this problem – and I do mean a lot.

Believe it or not, there are men who often reject sex from their partner. The first reason we believe is, he has to be sleeping with someone else simply because he is a man. We can’t even imagine most men ever rejecting intimacy.

Let’s face it: generally speaking, biologically and hormonally – not to mention culturally – men are much more driven to be sexual than women are. Yet this is not always necessarily so.

Here are 3 major reasons (other than health issues) why men may reject intimacy:

1. His partner nags him constantly about the things she wants or what he hasn’t done. She never stops to compliment him or acknowledge him for the things he does right, or the difference he makes in her life. All he hears is “I want, I want, I want.” He gets what we call performance anxiety, but he really has no desire to produce for someone who doesn’t appreciate him.
2. He has been frequently rejected (or once faced a particularly traumatic rejection) in past romantic encounters – possibly within your own relationship. It is primarily through sexual arousal that men begin to feel and express his love. This is when his heart is the most vulnerable. It is at this time he can most deeply feel the pains of rejection. If his partner has rejected him in the past his arousal can trigger anger and make him feel that pain again. He may feel aroused and start to feel anger at her and not even know why. In most cases, he will direct his sexual attraction elsewhere, creating a fantasy women who will not reject him or to a women who he doesn’t really care much about.
3. He is no longer turned on by his partner for reasons of appearance. She has stopped taking care of herself and neglects her appearance. She doesn’t take care of the home and most of the time the house is a mess.

You may want to ask your partner if any of these 3 reasons are an issue for him within your relationship, and if so, offer to work with him to overcome this problem. Even if you don’t believe it is a problem, what is important to remember is your partner sees it as a problem – and that problem will not go away until it is addressed to his (or her) satisfaction.

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I am always looking for something fun to do with my love, be it a foot massage, deep conversation about what pleasures us, or a very erotic massage. But at those special times when I want to get a slow burn going, or when I want to break out of the routine, I just love to slip into some of my sexy lingerie.

I know he loves me in just my birthday suit; however, including some eye candy in the event adds some mystery and helps to prevent relationship boredom. Plus, because lingerie has that slinky characteristic, it feels as clingy and sensual on my skin as it does under his fingertips, so it is something we both enjoy.

Let’s be honest. We all long for a little variety, a little change of pace, and it’s no different in the bedroom. With our busy lives we go along and do what comes easiest, since it is familiar, and we know the results will at least be good. Breaking out of that routine though will often turn up the heat and get you looking at each other in totally new ways. Lingerie is a very sexy tool that you can easily add to your love-making tool kit to help you avoid relationship boredom and break out of those routines you have slipped into.

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According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, in the National Vital Statistics Report, 7.5 percent of the American population got married in 2005. During the same year 3.6 percent of Americans got divorced. That means that for about every two marriages there was one divorce, or a 48 percent divorce rate.

Most people enter into marriage with the expectation the marriage will last until death. The facts however show that isn’t the case. For almost half of the population marriage only lasts until divorce.

Of course no one tracks the beginnings and endings of relationships where the people never marry. The number of households with one person increased 8 percent from 1970-2005. Today, more than a quarter of American households consist of one person. If you add the divorced people from just one year to that number there could be nearly 30 percent of the U.S. population looking for Mr. or Ms. Right.

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You will discover:

- Why Modern Models for Relationships Don’t work

- The Good News About Being Single

- What Online Dating Services Don’t Tell You

- Why What You Know Keeps Getting You More of What You Have

- The Top 4 Reasons We Choose Our Mate & The Cost

- How The Models for Relationships Our Parents & Society Gave Us

Effect Our Chooses.

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In Choosing A Relationship With Your Eyes Wide Open

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Q. Why is it that no man can accept my vibrator?

There are many reasons why men may not accept your vibrator, but perhaps the biggest one can be summed up in one word – competition. They may feel they can’t compete with a vibrator, and men don’t like to play games they can’t win. Remember too that a vibrator can run a long time, as long as there is power, but most men have operating limits.

I once heard of a woman who needed to have a car buffer as her vibrator so she could get off. How did she get to that point? You have to wonder if she is so desensitized that she can’t even feel a simple human touch. And then, where will it end? How much bigger, or more powerful will the vibrating tools need to become so that she can feel satisfied?

People often get lost in sex tools like vibrators because they can take control of their own pleasure. For women, after a string of unskilled lovers they may get to the point where a man is not appreciated. For many people, solitary sex is all they feel they have time for, or that they are the only ones who can really please themselves. Some women never learned to ask for what they want in bed. Still others don’t want to take the time to train their man to please them. There is nothing wrong with any of that.

But when the sexual experience becomes empty and addictive, many women, and men, decide it’s time to involve another person. If you are involving a man and asking why he doesn’t accept your vibrator, then perhaps you really don’t want a man to be involved in your sex life. If you really do want a man involved with you in bed then maybe a better question would be, “How can I learn to find as much pleasure having sex with a man, as I find when I use a vibrator?”

To do that you will need to place your emphasis on the sensuality between two people on their way to orgasm, rather than emphasizing the solitary activity of simply reaching an orgasm. When you focus on sensuality, a simple touch can make you feel much more pleasure that a vibrator can. A really skilled lover can touch his woman on her shoulder and cause her to have orgasmic contractions. While some may love the feeling of a vibrator, it can’t kiss you, and spoon with you, and cuddle with you. It can’t provide any of the qualities relationships do.

Whenever you are ready to try to experience how much pleasure you really can have with a man you might consider checking out the videos “For His Eyes Only,” and “For Her Eyes Only.” They will teach you how to enjoy your partner so much that you will say, “Screw my vibrator!”

A friend of mine – a really wild young thing – recently told me about an experience she once had with a couple. She joined them in a night of drinking, which later moved to their house, then to their bedroom. For a night, the three of them enjoyed each other. However, afterwards – and to her surprise – they never speak again, though they still had mutual friends.

I bring this story up because a lot of people have begun asking me about threesomes lately, and I think my friend’s experience is only a glimpse into what occurs when a third person becomes part of something we usually share with only one partner.

If you do the math, you will discover that bringing a third person into an otherwise committed sexual relationship means that one person ends up being left out. The most common threesome seems to involve a couple plus another woman – which means either the guy will be left alone or his partner will. Either way, the result is jealousy and loneliness will loom just outside the bedroom. Perhaps the invited girl will feel left out, causing her to feel cheapened and unnecessary, existing only as a momentary plaything, her previous friendship with the luckier couple greatly and irreversibly devalued.

We prefer to focus on the physical and even mental aspects of intercourse, but people tend to forget that sex means sharing an intimate part of yourself with another human being.
I recently did an interview on Playboy’s satellite radio channel where a man called in and said he had invited another man to join him and his wife. After sex, his wife cleaned up, came back to the bed, and snuggled up – to the new guy, not him. Naturally, the husband instantly became upset, yet he shouldn’t have been surprised at all. The woman in this particular situation had just shared something with the new man – not with her husband – so cuddling afterwards with the other man was only a natural expression of the experience for her.
When we have sex, we become, to some degree, emotionally attached to the other person. But what happens when that doesn’t work out? The relationship between the couple and between the other person will be damaged or destroyed – I can guarantee that.
People usually enter threesomes looking for intensity and/or new experiences. Our partner may not be giving us something we need sexually, and we think a new person can solve that. If the woman is unfulfilled, most likely the man is unable or has forgotten how to please her orally or manually, and the two of them should communicate. If the man is unhappy, the most common cause is a lack of attraction, in which case he should re-examine why he’s in that relationship. Communication will be the solution.

If you feel satisfied and fulfilled in your relationship to your partner, then you won’t want to share something that you value with anyone else. When we look elsewhere for the intensity we don’t have at home, we end up hurting the relationships that matter. After experiencing a threesome, we’ve intimately shared ourselves with other people, but the next day we have to redraw lines in the changed relationships that will cause everyone involved to suffer.

It takes time to truly know someone intimately – in fact, it takes a lifetime. But a threesome is a Pandora’s box of problems that suffocates any hope for intimacy. If you are in a monogamous relationship with someone you truly care about and want to know more intimately, why would you let someone else in? Instead of copping out by getting into a threesome; why not spend your time making your relationship better?

Don’t skim the surface of intimacy with your lover, dive in and get to know them better – one on one!