Question: What are Aphrodisiacs?

Answer: An aphrodisiac is anything that causes sexual arousal or intensifies sexual desire in either males or females.  Aphrodisiacs may be classified in two principal groups:  (1) psycho physiological (taste, visual, tactile, olfactory, aural) and (2) internal (stemming from food, alcoholic drinks, drugs, love potions, medical prescriptions).

Aphrodisiacs will cause us to feel sexually desirable and romantically excited.

Something such as certain drugs or foods can have such an effect.  In accient history, aphrodisiacs were first sought out as a remedy for various sexual anxieties including fears of inadequate performance as well as the need to increase fertility.  Procreation was an important moral and religious issue and aphrodisiacs were sought to insure both male and female potency.

Two of the most common aphrodisiacs today are chocolate and Viagra, others or oysters, and even animal genitalia.   Another common aphrodisiac for men is the smell of apple pie.

There are a multitude of other natural aphrodisiacs, however, don’t forget the one between your ears. If you stimulate you and your partner’s mind with thoughts and imagination, you’ll beg for more. Sensual, as well as intellectual stimulation can be very arousing and can assist to insure for a lasting relationship.

Question:

My husband and I have been married for three years and he is no longer interested in making love to me. I have tried everything he just will not talk to me, but I don’t believe he is cheating on me. What could be the problem?

Answer:

There are a lot of men out there that would love to have this problem – and I do mean a lot.

Believe it or not, there are men who often reject sex from their partner. The first reason we believe is, he has to be sleeping with someone else simply because he is a man. We can’t even imagine most men ever rejecting intimacy.

Let’s face it: generally speaking, biologically and hormonally – not to mention culturally – men are much more driven to be sexual than women are. Yet this is not always necessarily so.

Here are 3 major reasons (other than health issues) why men may reject intimacy:

1. His partner nags him constantly about the things she wants or what he hasn’t done. She never stops to compliment him or acknowledge him for the things he does right, or the difference he makes in her life. All he hears is “I want, I want, I want.” He gets what we call performance anxiety, but he really has no desire to produce for someone who doesn’t appreciate him.
2. He has been frequently rejected (or once faced a particularly traumatic rejection) in past romantic encounters – possibly within your own relationship. It is primarily through sexual arousal that men begin to feel and express his love. This is when his heart is the most vulnerable. It is at this time he can most deeply feel the pains of rejection. If his partner has rejected him in the past his arousal can trigger anger and make him feel that pain again. He may feel aroused and start to feel anger at her and not even know why. In most cases, he will direct his sexual attraction elsewhere, creating a fantasy women who will not reject him or to a women who he doesn’t really care much about.
3. He is no longer turned on by his partner for reasons of appearance. She has stopped taking care of herself and neglects her appearance. She doesn’t take care of the home and most of the time the house is a mess.

You may want to ask your partner if any of these 3 reasons are an issue for him within your relationship, and if so, offer to work with him to overcome this problem. Even if you don’t believe it is a problem, what is important to remember is your partner sees it as a problem – and that problem will not go away until it is addressed to his (or her) satisfaction.

Question – How does one’s relationship survive an affair!

My Answer - For your relationship to survive an affair you must truly forgive him or her and s/he must find a way that satisfies you in making up for what s/he did.

S/He broke his/her word and his/her vows to you.  Now, it is up to you to forgive him/her and give him/her a way to make it up to you.  S/He must make amends and keep his/her word to you from now on in all areas. You must ask yourself.  Is this the first time or is this a pattern?  If it is a pattern, you both need to get some counseling to see what is going on underneath all the cheating.  Many times, peoples who cheat will always cheat.Remember: You deserve to have a husband/wife you can trust.  If this was the only time s/he has strayed, then you still have a chance.  You may still want to get counseling.  You both need to find your part in what happened and be responsible for it or else history will repeat itself.If this sounds too difficult to handle, you should consider moving on and creating a new future with someone that you can trust.

If your woman isn’t having sex regularly she may not be thinking about it much anymore. Women need regular stimulation in order for them to stay interested. Unlike men, whose desire increases over time when they don’t have sex, for women the desire decreases. Along with the decrease in desire there is a tendency for her to take longer to get aroused and become lubricated. The last thing you want to do is penetrate her when she isn’t wet because not only is that painful for her but you can also damage the sensitive lining of her vagina. 

Here is a plan you can follow that will bring sex, and arousal, to the front of her mind. 

• Spend a few days romancing her. Call her during the day just to say hi. Send her a couple of cards or emails letting her know you are thinking of her. Pull her close when it feels natural and just hold her and kiss her without sexual advances.
• When the time is right things will start to happen all by themselves. If that doesn’t work after a few days expand your efforts to include setting the stage for her to relax into the idea of sex. Think about what relaxes her. If it is a hot bath, suggest to her you will draw the water and wash her back. Light a candle at the tub. Maybe she likes massage. Offer to do that. Find the thing that will make her feel pampered and coax her into relaxing.
• Things should be ready to heat up by now so you also need to relax into it and focus on making sure she reaches maximum arousal. You should already be aware of the places she likes to be touched and kissed so begin there. Take your time. She will warm up in degrees, not all at once. Take your cue from her. When she is ready she will let you know by coaxing you into position, or asking you in her special way. 

You will be surprised at your results using this process but also remember: the longer she has been without it, the more effort will be required on your part. 

If you find you are only able to take her so far and not get to intercourse you should definitely try Alura. For years men have told me what amazing results they’ve had including Alura as part of their foreplay. When you apply Alura to the clitoral region it stimulates her to arousal, and it also increases her natural moisture flow so she desires you and is also ready for you, all at the same time. Alura comes in convenient Pillow Packs so the spontaneous moments stay spontaneous. 

And for you men and ladies who are already enjoying regular sex Alura can take even that to new heights of arousal and satisfaction. So whenever you want to turn up the heat, think Alura.

Question – Is there anything out there to make a man’s penis larger or is all that stuff, sold in magazines full of stuff that sells dreams?

My Answer – We have yet to have anyone report success with the stuff in magazines; however, if your lover learns how to stimulate the secret spot at the root of your penis, this could temporally increase your penis size from 1 to 3 inches. We demonstrate this technique in our videos For Her Eyes Only.For Her Eyes Only. . How to Make Sex More Fun For Him.

Question - My lover doesn’t like to touch herself. How can I get her to experience her own body more? Also, she says that prior to our own relationship, she had only one climax in her entire life. Now, I give her many. Why is that?

My Answer - This can be a difficult problem. You either have a positive attitude about yourself sexually or a negative one. If her upbringing implies to her that she is somehow wrong or bad or dirty for wanting sex or for touching herself, you can help her overcome that by letting her know it is OK. Just as it is OK for her to touch her nose or feet, it is also acceptable for her to touch what belongs to her, and it is the only way she will be able to assist you in becoming an even better lover.As for your other question, chances are that whomever she was with in the past was sexually inexperienced, and thus did not know how to satisfy her in the ways you do now. Perhaps she did not feel safe enough to tell him at the time, but with you today, she feels loved and safe.

Question? – I work different hour than my boyfriend. We see each other only for about 2 hours a day. My question is how can I get him to be more in the mood in such little time. Please help me?

Answer - Let him know how important the relationship is to you. We have a saying, “The hungriest one cooks.” This means who ever is interested in intimacy it is their responsibility to get the other person in the mood. You can also make him an offer he can’t refuse. Tell him if he will do just one thing that you want you will do two things for him.

EVERYTHING!!! Ever since I discovered that pleasure and intimacy have no boundaries, I have been passionate about sensuality. Whether I am hanging out with friends at “The Flat” drinking mohito, or on the road doing radio interviews, situations of the heart have always fascinated me.

Our relationships are the key components to our happiness. It is the glue that binds us. So posting my blog, well, that’s just another fun thing to do. We can spend countless hours trying to figure out relationship dialogs. Here is your space to post your concerns and read the comments of others. My blog is designed to speak directly to those of us who are in love with love and who want to push the limits. So whatever your relationship issues are, my hope is to inspire you to use any information you receive to improve your relationship. One place to begin that costs nothing more than a little time is with the E-Book “The Power of Intimacy: 9 Steps to Getting the Love Life You Desire.” For help with putting it all together in the bedroom try the videos “For His Eyes Only” and “For Her Eyes Only.” These videos feature couples who show you step-by-step how to do the famous Venus Butterfly Technique allowing you and your lover to experience elongated orgasms. Remember to keep in touch as our new dating service “A Fine Match” will be coming your way soon. It’s a place to connect with like minded individuals who share your interests.So grab your IsaShake and snuggle up to your monitor because it’s about to get steamy!