If your woman isn’t having sex regularly she may not be thinking about it much anymore. Women need regular stimulation in order for them to stay interested. Unlike men, whose desire increases over time when they don’t have sex, for women the desire decreases. Along with the decrease in desire there is a tendency for her to take longer to get aroused and become lubricated. The last thing you want to do is penetrate her when she isn’t wet because not only is that painful for her but you can also damage the sensitive lining of her vagina. 

Here is a plan you can follow that will bring sex, and arousal, to the front of her mind. 

• Spend a few days romancing her. Call her during the day just to say hi. Send her a couple of cards or emails letting her know you are thinking of her. Pull her close when it feels natural and just hold her and kiss her without sexual advances.
• When the time is right things will start to happen all by themselves. If that doesn’t work after a few days expand your efforts to include setting the stage for her to relax into the idea of sex. Think about what relaxes her. If it is a hot bath, suggest to her you will draw the water and wash her back. Light a candle at the tub. Maybe she likes massage. Offer to do that. Find the thing that will make her feel pampered and coax her into relaxing.
• Things should be ready to heat up by now so you also need to relax into it and focus on making sure she reaches maximum arousal. You should already be aware of the places she likes to be touched and kissed so begin there. Take your time. She will warm up in degrees, not all at once. Take your cue from her. When she is ready she will let you know by coaxing you into position, or asking you in her special way. 

You will be surprised at your results using this process but also remember: the longer she has been without it, the more effort will be required on your part. 

If you find you are only able to take her so far and not get to intercourse you should definitely try Alura. For years men have told me what amazing results they’ve had including Alura as part of their foreplay. When you apply Alura to the clitoral region it stimulates her to arousal, and it also increases her natural moisture flow so she desires you and is also ready for you, all at the same time. Alura comes in convenient Pillow Packs so the spontaneous moments stay spontaneous. 

And for you men and ladies who are already enjoying regular sex Alura can take even that to new heights of arousal and satisfaction. So whenever you want to turn up the heat, think Alura.

A recent newspaper article reported that we would be having sex with robots by the year 2050. These mechanical dreams are supposed to be so similar in intelligence and emotions to us that they will be indistinguishable from the typical person. Besides having sex with them the article also suggested we will be marrying them. 

I suppose if we can learn to love animals we could learn to love a machine that acts, feels and responds as humans do. But what of our unique human characteristics like emotions? When the robot has an orgasm will it be unique to that robot, or, similar to all robots? At what point will we loose interest in the robot because of its lack of emotional growth? Will we have to regularly update its software so we can have new experiences with it? Will the machines that are wired for sex be designed to top the human experience? And how many of us will buy into this for the sake of advertising and marketing, or even curiosity? 

It stimulates our minds to explore the unknown. But we can either use our desire to explore the unknown for a positive affect on our relationships, or we can use it to negatively affect our relationships. If we have sex in an elevator do we then have to have it on an airplane? If we do a threesome with two girls, will we have to do a threesome with two robots? We are looking for that next intense experience. We have shown we would rather take a pill to solve sexual issues than to teach our partners how our bodies work so we can give each other more pleasure sexually. Will robots take away the desire to become more deeply connected with our human loves? 

What about the possibility of discovering for ourselves that we don’t have ED (erectile dysfunction)? Or, how about discovering that our female partner really is saying no to us because it just isn’t as good for her as we think it is? We live in a fast-paced society and we have been programmed with the wrong information for too long. If you look at the magazine stands they are filled with articles claiming to have the answer, yet we still have relationship revolving doors. 

We should never underestimate technology. After all, look at where we’ve arrived just in the last 20 years. But it seems to me that there will always be something just a little different about humans that will always make them more enjoyable partners, both in and out of bed, than a programmed machine. Little nuances like unpredictability and emotional responses that come from experiences just might always keep us a bit different. 

We should begin putting more value on our human sexual relationships and we can do that through programs like Pillow Talk and by trying to live just a bit differently than we have been. We need to stop doing the stuff that keeps us away from the human experience. We need to turn off the TV, get off the computer, stop working late at the office, and spend some quality time together. 

Time will certainly answer the questions, but between now and then we should grab all the experience we can with the humans we love now.

Every year desperate men prowl the aisles of stores sorting through the time-worn Valentine’s Day gifts of candy, flowers, cards and jewelry. The requirement to supply a favor to the women in their lives makes for a sad commentary on something that could be so much more.

Jackie Fine, relationship advisor, says that in order to move Valentine’s Day out of the mundane and into the magical, people should consider putting themselves back into the mix. Fine has been helping people improve their relationships for more than 17 years on radio, television, syndicated columns and her website.

“This day should be about people and not things,” she says. “As soon as we stop expecting to receive gifts as signs of love, and we stop feeling required to give gifts as signs of love, we elevate love to a much higher place. Giving and receiving are richer experiences without the expectations and requirements. Many relationships are stuck in the material giving and receiving modes because they have never learned to be truly intimate with each other.” She says giving and receiving things is often the substitute for intimacy.

Fine offers three relationship tips for bringing the focus back where it belongs.

• Do something special for yourself because when you feel special it is contagious. Think about feeling special and about what action makes you feel that way, then make the space and time to experience it.
• Do something special for your lover because when they feel special it is contagious too. Search your mind for what you know about them and pick a gesture, some words or an action that will uplift them.
• Do something special together, that both of you enjoy.

Fine concedes there will always be Valentine’s Day gifts and that they have their place. For those who long for something more in their relationships making the gifts the icing on the cake, rather than the main event, will help them to discover new worlds of intimacy with each other.

The Biggest Myths: He Doesn’t Listen – I Can’t Understand Her

If you take the time to watch this short video you will recognize the dynamics that are going on here. Whether you are man or woman you know this goes on and you have probably been sitting in one of their chairs at one time or another. The classic complaint of men about women is that they can’t be understood. The classic complaint about men by women is that they don’t listen.

In both cases nothing could be further from the truth. Women are understood all the time. And men do listen. The key to better communication between them is just a matter of recognizing some basic differences and then using the appropriate communication technique.

Women need to understand that men can only do one thing at a time. When a man puts his attention on something it is on that one thing only. While you may be a master at multi-tasking chances are your man isn’t. If you get him going in one direction you need to let him finish what he’s doing before changing the direction. You need to also make sure you have his attention before saying or doing that important thing you want him to be aware of.

Believe it or not if your man loves you he wants to succeed with you. He wants to win. And while you may want to keep him in doubt by withholding encouragement you are only hurting yourself in the long run. As soon as you criticize or put him down he doesn’t hear anything after that and then there’s a good chance that if that goes on long enough he’ll begin looking for an exit from the relationship.

Men need to understand that anything they put their attention on can be understood and that applies to understanding women too. So you men need to first of all realize that your ladies are starved for attention and sensual pleasure. Then, when she has your attention you need to focus on her and her message as intently as you focus on today’s stock market news or the local sports scores. If you can learn to look at her talking to you as the most important thing that will happen to you that day you will be amazed at how easy she is to understand.

We speak these relationship myths so much that we come to believe they are fact. Now you know they can only be fact if you let them.

Ever since that infamous 1986 episode of LA Law where Stuart drove his fellow attorney, Ann crazy with the Venus Butterfly sex technique the mystique surrounding this intense form of sexual stimulation has led many to seek it out for themselves, and for their soon-to-be adoring partners.

The result of effectively using the Venus Butterfly technique is the good possibility that orgasms will last for an hour. Most people believe that orgasm is the ejaculation phase of sex. In reality orgasm is the series of contractions that ultimately lead to ejaculation. Both men and women experience these contractions. Men typically have 6-9 with each one lasting less than a second. Women average 9-12 contractions with each one averaging also less than a second.

At the Institute for Human Abilities in California, now called the More Institute, researchers discovered 40 years ago that by applying the techniques of the Venus Butterfly a man or woman could experience hundreds of contractions making the orgasm last for an hour or more.

The techniques of the Venus Butterfly are not difficult to learn but good instruction is important so the maximum benefit can be experienced. Two places where the technique is demonstrated include “The One Hour Orgasm” and the videos “For His Eyes Only” and “For Her Eyes Only.”

You don’t have to watch the new HBO series, “Tell Me You Love Me,” very long to see we still have a long way to go when it comes to fostering meaningful love in relationships. I say meaningful because everybody has slightly different ideas of what love is so it’s not really love unless it is meaningful to them.

We all learned to love by watching those around us like our parents. Many of you are cringing right now, I can tell, as you remember the love your parents demonstrated for you. We also learned a lot about love from television, our churches and society as a whole. Those love examples, for better or for worse, became our idea of what love should be, and ultimately of the kind of love we should seek.

Just like in the television show, many of you are caught up in the process of searching for, finding and then destroying relationships. They end because it wasn’t the love you were looking for. Women, here’s how it plays out for you. You go out looking for a Mr. Right that meets all the criteria of what you think will be the perfect man for you. Never mind that millions of other women are searching for a man with exactly the same traits. And never mind that some of the traits you are looking for are the same ones you saw in your aunt’s relationship with her husband.

Then you find him and everything is wonderful…until. Until you notice he leaves his clothes laying all over the place, or he’s not very good at home improvements, or he likes spending too much time with the guys. Now you begin destroying what you’ve built by mentally picking him apart…until. Until you just want out of that relationship.

For you men the process goes like this. She is so hot you just feel a blush of excitement when you see her. You can’t get her out of your mind and you imagine her sliding from the car as you hold the door, moaning in pleasure in your bed and wearing one of your shirts with nothing on underneath while she cooks up some eggs for a late breakfast…until. Until you discover she prefers to open doors herself, she’s not entirely thrilled with your sexual performance and she doesn’t cook.

To make a great relationship it takes a lot more than “someone telling you they love you.” The first thing you have to do is realize that you have patterns when it comes to the type of person you attract to you. Then you have to do some soul searching and find out where the pattern originated and try to feel what you felt when you were making this pattern your own. You might discover along the way that you observed pain in other relationships and subconsciously began to accept patterns that would lead to pain in your own relationships. If you watch enough television shows like “Tell Me You Love Me,” you’ll begin to accept the concept of having painful relationships rather than joyous ones. You really do become what you feed your mind. So, begin today to discover why you seek people with certain traits and do this before you start looking for Mr. or Ms. Right.

There is much more about this in the video ,“Choosing A Relationship With Your Eyes Wide Open.” It’s there that you can start to discover your relationship model and also begin to redefine it so it suits you.

This Trojan condom commercial demonstrates the kind of shift in consciousness that has to take place in today’s sexually liberated yet diseased world. More people are waking up to the fact that today’s sexual encounters can come back to haunt you many years later with incurable results.

The primary male resistance to condoms centers on the lack of feeling. The New England Journal of Medicine reported that 41 percent of respondents said they don’t use condoms because they reduce pleasure. This seems to hold true over the long term. In 1996 the Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality pointed to decreased pleasure as the number one reason for not using condoms.

Well, people are working on this and there are even places where there are condom reviews. There are new condom designs showing up that are backed by clinical trials showing how much more enjoyment people claim to have from using them. The reviewers include you too, ladies. By the way, many women also complain of the lack of feeling associated with condom use.

There are also cultural factors reported here that are involved in condom use, or non-use. For example people under 25 often associate condoms with a lack of trust. They also believe that someone who carries them has sexual experience – perhaps positive for the boys, but often not so for the girls. What is most telling is that young people decide whether or not to use condoms based upon appearances and how well they know the potential partner. It’s interesting how it is harder for us to think of someone who is clean and well dressed as being diseased.

Poorly fitting condoms is one main reason that condoms fail to do their job. One company has come up with a solution by taking the one-size-fits-all approach out of the equation. Another reason for condom failure is slippage but there is a product that can deal with that too. So, the list of reasons NOT to use condoms is getting smaller and smaller.

Question – My boyfriend and I practice safe sex. We have decided that using a condom works best for us because it protects against disease and pregnancy. However, during sex, if we are really going at it, the condom slips down or comes completely off. Just recently, the condom came off without our knowledge and it got pushed so far up in me that I had to go to the emergency room to have it removed! It was totally embarrassing. Does this happen often? Is there anything on the market that can give us peace of mind in knowing that the condom won’t come off?

Answer – First of all, you are to be commended for practicing safe sex! Do condoms slip down or come completely off often: YES! It is an everyday occurrence. Condoms are only as effective as the user and, realistically speaking, if the majority of users used them correctly, we’d have fewer unwanted pregnancies and fewer cases of STDs. Moreover, experience does not guarantee that partial or complete slippage won’t occur. The more common reasons for condom failure include: inexperience, anxiousness, lengthy and intense intercourse, a languid penis, a dry vagina, unrolling a condom before putting it on, and anal sex. There is a product on the market called Collar UP that works in conjunction with a condom and compensates for the user. The product helps to make the condom more effective by helping to prevent partial or complete slippage. Collar Up is safe, effective, reusable, easy to use, and goes on fast. When partners aren’t worried about disease or pregnancy, intercourse is more intense, passionate, and fulfilling. For more information about Collar Up, go to www.collarup.net . In the coming months the custom fit condoms, They-Fit, condoms will once again be available from this web site. These condoms greatly reduce slippage because they fit so well.

Question - Is there anything out there to make a man’s penis larger or is all that stuff, sold in magazines full of stuff that sells dreams?

My Answer - We have yet to have anyone report success with the stuff in magazines; however, if your lover learns how to stimulate the secret spot at the root of your penis, this could temporally increase your penis size from 1 to 3 inches. We demonstrate this technique in our videos For Her Eyes Only.For Her Eyes Only. . How to Make Sex More Fun For Him.

Question - How does one’s relationship survive an affair!

My Answer - For your relationship to survive an affair you must truly forgive him or her and s/he must find a way that satisfies you in making up for what s/he did.

S/He broke his/her word and his/her vows to you.  Now, it is up to you to forgive him/her and give him/her a way to make it up to you.  S/He must make amends and keep his/her word to you from now on in all areas. You must ask yourself.  Is this the first time or is this a pattern?  If it is a pattern, you both need to get some counseling to see what is going on underneath all the cheating.  Many times, peoples who cheat will always cheat.Remember: You deserve to have a husband/wife you can trust.  If this was the only time s/he has strayed, then you still have a chance.  You may still want to get counseling.  You both need to find your part in what happened and be responsible for it or else history will repeat itself.If this sounds too difficult to handle, you should consider moving on and creating a new future with someone that you can trust.