I recently discussed this topic on Hot 103 Jamz, "The Julee Jonez Show"

Richmond's Morning News with Jimmy Barrett &

"The Rich & Lori Morning Show" if you missed it here is a recap.

"5 Tips to Keep Your Marriage Strong If A Spouse Loses Their Job"

Your happiness and intimacy doesn't have to suffer.

1.           Stick to Your Budget

In the past, budgets have been a lot like new years resolutions, we make them and a few weeks later they're forgotten. Now, more then ever, is the time to stick to the budget you and your spouse have created.

2.            Keep Lines of Communication Open

This can be a very stressful time for both of you and little issues can become big issues. It is very important to keep the lines of communication open about money and any other important topics.

3.           Remember to Play Fair

If one person makes more than the other, they don't have to continually remind their partner of this fact. As a couple you should have equal rights in making financial decisions. Don't allow outside interference from others. Only communicate to those who can help the situation.

4.           Disagree Respectfully

Chances are you will have arguments over money. However, when you disagree remember to stick to the details. Avoid bringing up past issues and stick to the present situation. Don't make personal attacks. If you stick with the issues at hand you are more likely to reach a compromise.

5.           Make Your Relationship A Priority

In the beginning of the relationship couples often planned different things to do together. Once you have been in the relationship awhile you typically stop "dating," which is still very important to the relationship. The stresses of your spouse losing their job can make things even worse. It's up to you to keep the fun and excitement in your relationship. Find "free" fun ways to release tension.

By following these tips you can create an atmosphere where your relationship will be able to weather the storm when a spouse loses their job. It's also a good bet that it can be even better then it was before.

I've never really felt there was any good reason to lie to myself. Sure, having rose-colored glasses does make the world look rosy, but only until you take them off. And you always have to take them off.

The same is true with relationships. At the early stages of our love affairs the rose colored glasses are on and we are seeing only what we want to see, only in the light we want to see it in. Then, later, maybe after a few years, things begin to look differently. We notice she has an annoying way of always asking two questions at one time, and he always leaves the kitchen cabinet doors open. We always knew she asked two questions at once, but it used to be cute. We always knew he left the kitchen cabinet doors open, but that was only because he was preoccupied trying to keep up with his meteoric rise in the corporate world.

So, what happens after the happily ever after? Well, if you are smart, you didn't wait until then to really start making your relationship important. Instead you rose every day and you kept those thoughts of your lover just like those ones you had when you first met. Remember how you used to be on pins and needles while waiting to be together? Remember how your thoughts were always on each other? Remember how you daydreamed little pictures of the future with the two of you in romantic bliss?

Those thoughts were the things that were creating and recreating your relationship over and over. Your life flows to where your attention is, so use your thoughts and actions to make sure happily ever after stays happily ever after.

Once you have some basic massage moves under your finger tips there are new adventures you might want to explore.

To build some intimacy with your lover, how about giving him or her a sensual massage? A typical massage relaxes your partner, whereas a sensual massage can set the stage for some passionate lovemaking. There are essential oils available that are aphrodisiacs. Aphrodisiacs are substances that are capable of enhancing sexual pleasure and desire. Jasmine essential oil has a very erogenous effect and can fire up your sex life. Ylang Ylang and sandalwood also can steam things up.

Add in some music to turn up the passion. Some sexy saxophone or whatever you consider sexy music can set the stage for some real hot encounters.

Don't be afraid to ask your mate to tell you what areas turn them on. Skip the shyness and clue them in to your hot spots too! There are also special oils and lotions that can warm up the genitals, oh-la-la! Now all you need to do is take your time, put on the music, get the massage oil out and let yourself go!

If you feel as though you'd like some training first then the video, The Joy of Erotic Massage, will have you performing like a pro in no time. Once you watch this take the next step and schedule a sensual massage with your lover. Later you may want to see how sensual massage can be blended with the secrets of extending sexual pleasure using the One Hour Orgasm.

What makes massage so special is the touch. And one of the most pleasurable feelings is the experience of a "taking touch." What is a taking touch you ask? A taking touch is when the person who is doing the touching is getting more pleasure from touching you then you are from being touched. AHHH. It's like Mozart playing the piano, or like Jimmy Hendrix playing the guitar. The maestro and his entrapment are one in the same. It isn't work. It isn't effort. It is his craft and he is good at it. The one who is being touched is mesmerized and they long to be touched like this. A taking touch can cause orgasmic contractions from even a simple touch on the shoulder. With a little practice the taking touch can be yours.

Once you try sensual massage I know that your confidence will kick in and you will intuitively be turning your mate, and yourself, on to new levels of passion.

I hope your Valentine's Day is everything you dreamed it would be and that you and your mate create memories that will last a lifetime.

Cheers,
Jackie

When it comes to the finer things of life, there are not many in my opinion that can top having my mate give me a massage in the comfort of my home. Human touch can be very soothing, healing, and relaxing. The advantages of a massage include increasing blood circulation, relaxing sore and tight muscles, and increasing lymph flow. Best of all, a good, caring massage penetrates right to the core of your being and when shared between partners it will greatly enhance the relationship.

To make the most of a massage start by creating a relaxing atmosphere. Put on some soothing music, and light a few candles to set the stage. Also, make sure the temperature of the room is comfortable and prevent any possible interruptions by turning off the ringer on the telephone, turning off the cell phones, and making sure that other family members or pets cannot interrupt the session.

If you have never given a massage before you will be surprised to find out how easy it is to do! There is a lot of information in one of my earlier blogs. Another place to gather some basic techniques is to search YouTube for massage videos. You may want to get some massage oil at a health food store and try out some strokes on yourself. With a little practice your own intuition will kick in and you will know just the right areas on the body that need attention.

Many people say they wished they had treated themselves years ago to this wonderful practice. Partners can really enhance the quality and intimacy of their relationship by taking turns massaging each other. Make it a habit to give each other a massage once a week. You will be so glad you did.

A bonus to learning some basic massage techniques is that it can prepare you to do sensual massage and take your enjoyment and your partner's to new heights. In my next blog I will introduce you to sensual massage along with a unique twist. Called the "Taking Touch," this tender expression stimulates both people.

In a previous post I offered some advice about the signs to look for that will let you know you are ready for a relationship. Those centered on the idea that you have to take responsibility for your life, and love life. In a way these were the points that showed you were ready to receive.

Being ready for a relationship, however, also means you are ready to give. Many dating and relationship problems stem from too much of a focus on "me." Relationships by their very nature depend upon fulfilling the needs of both people. If they don't, then one, or both people miss out on the fullness that comes when two people who are ready for a relationship get together. These "selfish" relationships eventually cease to exist, or they just exist as empty shells.

Whether you are dating, trying to figure out your relationship problems, or you are beginning to look for a new relationship, these next signs will definitely get you pointed in the right direction.

• 1. You are able to communicate effectively with others to resolve issues without trying to establish blame and without loosing your cool.
• 2. You are willing to make time for the relationship. While other aspects of your life like work and hobbies are important, you also recognize that it's your relationship that adds greater dimension to all of those things.
• 3. You are willing and able to commit to one person, and you want to help them to fulfill their desires.
• 4. You are willing to work at the relationship so the two of you continue to grow together. This includes being willing to spend time and energy on things that the two of you have in common. Working on this aspects takes you also through the process of working on those things about yourself that get in the way of your relationship with someone else. There is much more available about this in the Pillow Talk seminars.
• 5. You are willing to treat your mate the way you would want to be treated.

Regardless of your past relationship problems, and whether you are dating, or thinking about it, these signs offer a set of guideposts so you can know when you are ready for a relationship.

Part 1

We have interesting ways of deluding ourselves, especially when it comes to relationships. For people who are just leaving a relationship, and for those who are already in the dating game, the delusion is thinking they are actually ready for a relationship.

Sometimes people assume that changing their relationship will eliminate their relationship problems, when in fact the problems are often created by themselves. Others may assume they are ready for a relationship simply because they have had so much experience with them. However, if the experience is based on failed relationships then you have to wonder just how valuable it is. So, what are the signs you are ready for a relationship?

The first five signs that you are ready for a relationship center on accepting personal responsibilities - being ready to receive. Keep in mind that I am assuming you are looking for a long-term relationship that is valuable to both parties.

• 1. You are financially stable and are not looking for someone to share your financial responsibilities. Relationships have always been about money to a certain extent, but when it tops the list the resulting relationship can end up being needy and manipulative.
• 2. You are clear on what your issues are, and you are working on them. This is a very deep topic and you can get a good understanding of it from my Choosing A Relationship video, available in the Pillow Talk seminar series.
• 3. You don't blame anyone for your past mistakes and disappointments. You hold yourself accountable and accept the content of your life.
• 4. You set boundaries and value your "me" time. You aren't looking for a relationship simply because you don't like to be alone.
• 5. You are clear about the kind of relationship you want, and you know where you will compromise, and where you won't. You are unwilling to just "settle for" while you wait for the true Mr. or Miss. Right.

In my next post I will cover the next 5 signs of being ready for a relationship. These signs are based upon your willingness to give.

One of the great things about the beginning of a new year is the reminder that we can begin anew. This is the time to get reacquainted with things that may have been put on hold because other events took over. It's also a great time to get back in touch with people we have drifted away from as life's demands pulled us in many directions.

To each of you I want to extend a heartfelt Happy New Year, and welcome you to another year of great information, advice, and tools you can use to have better relationships and better dating experiences.

When it comes to getting back in touch this is also a time to take some steps to get back in touch with that all important person in your life - your mate, significant other, husband or wife. Often we put these most important relationships on hold, while we pursue our dreams of career and material possessions. In the process we stop learning and growing and improving our relationships and intimate moments with them.

So why not take some steps to reconnect? If you want better relationships then help yourself to my relationship advice. Whether you participate in the Pillow Talk Internet Seminars, or you watch For Her Eyes and For His Eyes better sex videos, you will gain insight that will help you to reconnect in a big way. My E-Book, The Power of Intimacy: 9 Steps to Getting the Love Life Your Desire, will be your guide to better relationships through a process of self discovery.

For you singles who are looking for love there's no safer or better place to start, or continue, than at A Fine Match. I will guide you through a dating process that will help your next love interest be the one you have always been looking for.

There is a lot to be said for practicing those things you want to get better at doing. Intimacy is no exception. So besides everything already mentioned I have assembled an exceptional line of products to enhance your sexual experiences. Women all over the world swear by the Alura experience and say it is the best for female arousal. To help her feel even more sexy I have a very sensual line of lingerie that will do double-duty by building his anticipation.

So, welcome back, and why not make 2009 the year of "your relationship!"

If your woman isn’t having sex regularly she may not be thinking about it much anymore. Women need regular stimulation in order for them to stay interested. Unlike men, whose desire increases over time when they don’t have sex, for women the desire decreases. Along with the decrease in desire there is a tendency for her to take longer to get aroused and become lubricated. The last thing you want to do is penetrate her when she isn’t wet because not only is that painful for her but you can also damage the sensitive lining of her vagina. 

Here is a plan you can follow that will bring sex, and arousal, to the front of her mind. 

• Spend a few days romancing her. Call her during the day just to say hi. Send her a couple of cards or emails letting her know you are thinking of her. Pull her close when it feels natural and just hold her and kiss her without sexual advances.
• When the time is right things will start to happen all by themselves. If that doesn’t work after a few days expand your efforts to include setting the stage for her to relax into the idea of sex. Think about what relaxes her. If it is a hot bath, suggest to her you will draw the water and wash her back. Light a candle at the tub. Maybe she likes massage. Offer to do that. Find the thing that will make her feel pampered and coax her into relaxing.
• Things should be ready to heat up by now so you also need to relax into it and focus on making sure she reaches maximum arousal. You should already be aware of the places she likes to be touched and kissed so begin there. Take your time. She will warm up in degrees, not all at once. Take your cue from her. When she is ready she will let you know by coaxing you into position, or asking you in her special way. 

You will be surprised at your results using this process but also remember: the longer she has been without it, the more effort will be required on your part. 

If you find you are only able to take her so far and not get to intercourse you should definitely try Alura. For years men have told me what amazing results they’ve had including Alura as part of their foreplay. When you apply Alura to the clitoral region it stimulates her to arousal, and it also increases her natural moisture flow so she desires you and is also ready for you, all at the same time. Alura comes in convenient Pillow Packs so the spontaneous moments stay spontaneous. 

And for you men and ladies who are already enjoying regular sex Alura can take even that to new heights of arousal and satisfaction. So whenever you want to turn up the heat, think Alura.

A recent newspaper article reported that we would be having sex with robots by the year 2050. These mechanical dreams are supposed to be so similar in intelligence and emotions to us that they will be indistinguishable from the typical person. Besides having sex with them the article also suggested we will be marrying them. 

I suppose if we can learn to love animals we could learn to love a machine that acts, feels and responds as humans do. But what of our unique human characteristics like emotions? When the robot has an orgasm will it be unique to that robot, or, similar to all robots? At what point will we loose interest in the robot because of its lack of emotional growth? Will we have to regularly update its software so we can have new experiences with it? Will the machines that are wired for sex be designed to top the human experience? And how many of us will buy into this for the sake of advertising and marketing, or even curiosity? 

It stimulates our minds to explore the unknown. But we can either use our desire to explore the unknown for a positive affect on our relationships, or we can use it to negatively affect our relationships. If we have sex in an elevator do we then have to have it on an airplane? If we do a threesome with two girls, will we have to do a threesome with two robots? We are looking for that next intense experience. We have shown we would rather take a pill to solve sexual issues than to teach our partners how our bodies work so we can give each other more pleasure sexually. Will robots take away the desire to become more deeply connected with our human loves? 

What about the possibility of discovering for ourselves that we don't have ED (erectile dysfunction)? Or, how about discovering that our female partner really is saying no to us because it just isn't as good for her as we think it is? We live in a fast-paced society and we have been programmed with the wrong information for too long. If you look at the magazine stands they are filled with articles claiming to have the answer, yet we still have relationship revolving doors. 

We should never underestimate technology. After all, look at where we’ve arrived just in the last 20 years. But it seems to me that there will always be something just a little different about humans that will always make them more enjoyable partners, both in and out of bed, than a programmed machine. Little nuances like unpredictability and emotional responses that come from experiences just might always keep us a bit different. 

We should begin putting more value on our human sexual relationships and we can do that through programs like Pillow Talk and by trying to live just a bit differently than we have been. We need to stop doing the stuff that keeps us away from the human experience. We need to turn off the TV, get off the computer, stop working late at the office, and spend some quality time together. 

Time will certainly answer the questions, but between now and then we should grab all the experience we can with the humans we love now.