A Just-Because Romance

by Jackie Fine


Days upon days pass by. The hours pile up while we spin around. I get bored. You get bored. Our lovers get bored. Then Hallmark and American Greetings create a day to celebrate the love we’ve felt all year long. Celebrate? Yawn.

It’s human nature. We let the seconds tick by while we accomplish other important tasks. While we’re doing that, we aren’t saying, “I love you.” We certainly aren’t showing it.

It’s not a crime, just a fact. But it certainly makes that annual “celebration” a bit of a hassle. Of course, after a year of working, cleaning, driving around kids, and watching Survivor, you need that yearly slap to get into an even somewhat romantic mood.
I remember my first year in college. So many afternoons seemed ideal for pushing a mound of work off to the next. My friends and I began celebrating the oddest minutiae. I giggled just now thinking of “Going Down on the Cooler,” a themed party with no cups, where people enjoyed a potent beverage by kneeling in front of a cooler and drinking from its spigot.

My favorite party, though, had no name, no specific date, no season. People asked, “Why are you celebrating?” We replied with dignity, “Because it’s Wednesday.”
THAT’S a reason to celebrate. Because it’s Wednesday, because I didn’t hit the snooze button, because I like barbecued ribs and margaritas, and of course, because I love you. The biggest complaint couples face today is relationship boredom and a decrease in lovemaking. That’s because we wait until Feb. 14 to try something exciting. Well stop it.
Celebrate on some Tuesday in March. Then again on a Thursday. Something little, something fun. Maybe go shopping together on Thursday night for a one-hour picnic together on Saturday. You have to create a just-because romance. It’s suitable any time of day, any time of year, and trust me, it never goes out of style.

If you haven’t been doing that, I can still help. Just promise me to start doing it once we’re through with this fourteenth. Boys, according to the National Retail Federation, you’re going to spend an average of $95 this year, while the women in your lives will spend about $37. Don’t waste that money on a generic item you think your partner will appreciate.

Instead of spending without thinking, start Valentine’s Day tomorrow by building anticipation for the actual date. Look at the next week as a series of romantic conversations that will put you and your partner to bed but not to sleep.
Maybe tomorrow night, before you fall asleep, ask each other what you’d like done on Valentine’s Day. Feel free to take that conversation wherever it needs to go. Your partner might want to talk about food they haven’t had lately, a movie they’d like to see, or something that hasn’t happened in the bedroom for a while.
Then leave notes reminding them of what will happen on Saturday. Make them excited. Pique their interest. Steer the evening towards enjoying and seducing each other and away from the simple gifts-dinner-wine-sleep pattern.

Want some gift ideas that are not chocolate? Check out my website at www.justaskjackie.com. I have a variety of gift ideas that will revolutionize Valentine’s. Be warned, though. With my help, your celebration will culminate in noise-creating, sweat-causing, I’ll-be-sore-tomorrow type of sex.

I hope that’s what you want. I don’t think it’s what a boring card and flowers will get you. Unless, of course, you combine that with the attention and preparation your partner has been looking for. Celebrate them simply because you love them. Then tomorrow, when a friend asks you why you’re sore and smiling, you can say, “Just because.”

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