Deliberately Do Me

by Jackie Fine


Last night I ate McDonald's. I had just finished a happy hour with friends and was on my way to meet a different set, and I hadn't eaten. The food was cheap and convenient. My hunger had been met — not satisfied, merely met. I knew what to expect, nothing special, but adequate for the time being. It served its purpose. I wouldn't want to eat it every day, and I wouldn't make myself.

Good food, soul food, that's what keeps me interested in eating. I make time for good meals instead of squeezing them into an already busy schedule. I want the smells to make my mouth water. I want the food to melt on my tongue, making me decide between savoring each bite or rushing to the next. I want to feel the pleasure of sensual satisfaction once I'm finished. I'll look forward to the leftovers, which will only make me remember the day before and keep the next meal in the front of my thoughts. Gourmet dining begets more gourmet dining.

Couples tend to treat each other like a drive-thru. We know the routine, we order without thinking, and we eat without pleasure. Work, kids, hobbies, outside relationships all fill our days and our nights until we find ourselves trying to squeeze our mate in between soccer practice and tee time.

Enough. I hate cold, grease-encrusted French fries. And I know my partner hates the how-was-your-day conversations punctuated by glances at our watches.

Get back to the gourmet. If you're bored by your mate, it's because you let it happen. We can fill our time with a million activities, and none of them would include getting to know our lover better. Simply finding out about their day or their week doesn't cut it. Intimacy involves a lifetime. And life involves effort. Approach your mate with a deliberate purpose. Use that same outlook when planning your week.

• Make time for them in a place or an activity that lets the two of you be alone together.
• Embellish on the moments you already enjoy with the other.
• Spice them up with something new.
• Build the anticipation and let it simmer into a meaningful reality.

Don't let the gourmet end with the emotional side of your romance. Take action in the bedroom. This may mean a shift from quantity to quality. I could eat McDonald's every day for a week, but I'd rather save that money for a single, scrumptious meal. Sex is the same way. Even if you could fit only fifteen minutes of love-making into every night, one of you still wouldn't be satisfied. Try not coupling for a few days, then set aside a large block of time to explore pleasure together. The excess of desire and the deliberate approach will create a mind-blowing evening.

In my food example, the meal I ate didn't care about my attention, and of course, neither would the gourmet dinner. However, taking the time to truly satisfy and enjoy an evening with your partner will have an immediate effect. If your lover feels your desire and your attention, then they will focus on returning the experience. When I ate fast food the other night, I simply fed my basest need. Don't ever settle for the minimum in love. Sometimes it may mean sacrifice, but it always translates to happiness. Stay away from relationship drive-through, because convenience clogs the heart. :-)

Link To Jackie's Site - Terms of Use - Privacy Policy

The Media Source - P.O. Box 1256 - Cypress, TX 77410-1256 USA
Telephone: (800) 874-6685 - Fax (800) 287-6218 - Email
Contents © 2001-2008 The Media Source. All Rights Reserved.