 by Jackie Fine
My friends have lost their futures.
Several of the smiling twenty-somethings I'm close to just watched
their once secure retirement years dwindle into uncertainty. Enron's
failure has hit my own hometown (Houston, Texas) pretty hard. The
sad part is how these people actually planned for their futures,
only to see them robbed.
But how many of us don't plan for the unknown? Wall Street may
disagree with me, but more importantly, how many of us don't plan
for a future of love?
I'm not one to knock going out and having a good time. I enjoy
visiting the rather swank hot spots on the weekend nights for a
drink. But there's a difference between a little carousing and
prowling for someone.
Meat markets bother me. They're great for the short-term investment,
but you'll find the profit margins turning from slim to sour in
seconds.
Long lasting relationships very rarely begin to the rhythm of a
heavy techno beat, and you don't have to investigate relationship
SEC filings to notice how empty the return on that investment will
be.
The last time I went to a meat market I watched the crowds, the
various groups intermingling, people moving from the friends they'd
arrived with to talk to others they'd just met then back again.
As the music wore down and the waitstaff announced last call, the
intermingling groups gained a new intensity. Jokes brought more
forced smiles as glazed eyes strived to find something meaningful
in someone else.
The strangers eventually left with new "friends", only
to wake up again as strangers. Maybe they exchanged numbers. Maybe
they called on Wednesday and met again on Saturday.
Probably not. Most simply begin hunting again. It works - for now.
It's fun; it's sex.
Yes, intimacy, the one type of relationship so many of us put off
until we think we're ready for it. We want to live for ourselves
right now; I understand, I'm no different. We want to get into
our careers, we want to find self-actualization, then we want to
burn off some steam.
All of this is ok, but remember, our time is our best asset. How
are we investing it? The future exists, and our choices constantly
define it. Are the decisions you're making today preparing you
for what you'll want and need fifteen years from now?
Go ahead, blow off some steam and meet new people. But also remember
you won't always have the same outlook and goals. In the future,
you might enjoy sitting quietly with someone else, defining a fabulous
Saturday night as a candle-lit dinner and a nice bottle of wine.
Believe it or not, by the time you're in your late fifties, you
may even want someone to watch the grandkids with.
Think of where you find people and whom you want to find. Do the
two match? If not, decide what it is you really want now versus
what you may want in the future, and seek ways to reconcile the
two.
Make a solid investment with your time. Find someone you can have
fun with now that may be meaningful later. I'm not reducing the
whole of your time on earth to finding a mate; I'm merely suggesting
you think about what you'll
want and invest wisely now. If you want to be married, you don't
want to wake up in twenty years and discover your romantic vaults
are empty.
Millions are rarely made overnight, but smart choices made early
can become lucrative ones later.
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